It almost always means spam. That sound of an email so early in the morning will usually not even prompt me to check my phone. For some reason this morning was different.
For a moment I turned my phone face down and put it down on the bed, away from me. "I don't want to deal with this yet," I said, and I asked to be distracted. But my mind would not stop.
Yes, this is what I signed up for when I applied to Peace Corps from the transit house in Ouagadougou. I was spending a few weeks in Burkina Faso with my best friend who was a year into her own PC service. That was August 2011. Since then, life has changed quite a bit.
I've written two books (and maybe half of a third.) I'm still working at the bookstore that I love, doing a job that I love, with people that I love like family. Chev came home from Burkina this year, and now I'm living with her, as well. Life seemed so up in the air after graduation, and now I've settled in and gotten comfortable.
Get out of this life like a queen-sized bed and get to work, the e-mail said. I don't care if you're comfortable. I don't care if you're happy. It's time to give all of that up, time to change the life you didn't know you liked so much until this moment.
Of course, I'm excited. Of course, I accepted the assignment. Of course, I will go.
But for a moment there I just wanted to press my back against the wall and crawl further back from that phone and hide in the blankets on that bed.
I didn't. I have the kind of friends who wouldn't let me if I tried, and I am so grateful for that.
Of course, I'm scared. But I know I'll be ready, once the time comes.
Dear Kelsey,
Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that we invite you to begin training in Azerbaijan for Peace Corps service. You will be joining thousands of Americans who are building stronger communities around the world. This call to action gives you the opportunity to learn new skills and to find the best in yourself. The next step is up to you.I froze for a moment. The last I'd heard, I was at least a phone interview away from even getting considered for an assignment. This was not the e-mail I'd been expecting.
For a moment I turned my phone face down and put it down on the bed, away from me. "I don't want to deal with this yet," I said, and I asked to be distracted. But my mind would not stop.
Yes, this is what I signed up for when I applied to Peace Corps from the transit house in Ouagadougou. I was spending a few weeks in Burkina Faso with my best friend who was a year into her own PC service. That was August 2011. Since then, life has changed quite a bit.
I've written two books (and maybe half of a third.) I'm still working at the bookstore that I love, doing a job that I love, with people that I love like family. Chev came home from Burkina this year, and now I'm living with her, as well. Life seemed so up in the air after graduation, and now I've settled in and gotten comfortable.
Get out of this life like a queen-sized bed and get to work, the e-mail said. I don't care if you're comfortable. I don't care if you're happy. It's time to give all of that up, time to change the life you didn't know you liked so much until this moment.
Of course, I'm excited. Of course, I accepted the assignment. Of course, I will go.
But for a moment there I just wanted to press my back against the wall and crawl further back from that phone and hide in the blankets on that bed.
I didn't. I have the kind of friends who wouldn't let me if I tried, and I am so grateful for that.
Of course, I'm scared. But I know I'll be ready, once the time comes.
Yes, you will. And you also have so many lifting you up with encouraging, loving thoughts. So proud of you!
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